“I’ll have what she’s having!”
By Guest | May 1, 2011 |
Therese here. Today’s guests is debut novelist Kaira Rouda. Kaira is the bestselling author of the nonfiction book Real You Incorporated: 8 Essentials for Women Entrepreneurs, which was published in 2008, the same year she won Best Entrepreneur from The Stevie Awards for Women in Business. A former journalist, award-winning marketer, entrepreneur, and national speaker, Kaira lives with her husband and four children in Malibu. Here, Home, Hope is her debut fiction novel–a book about a thirty-nine-year-old woman who decides it’s time for a midlife makeover. I’m pleased Kaira is with us today to discuss being grateful for the path you’re on. Enjoy!
“I’ll have what she’s having!”
That famous line from the movie When Harry Met Sally burst into my brain as I sat down to write this post. (Yes, we could analyze why, but my wacky mind is not the topic here.) The line seemed apropos to the career of being a writer – the craft and the business side – particularly at this moment in my life. You see, my first novel HERE, HOME, HOPE appears on the scene May 1st and the idea of that, of my baby out in the world, is daunting, to say the least.
I know. How great, you think, a novel coming to life after years of struggle, rejection, rewrite, hand-wringing and literal gnashing of teeth. And don’t get me wrong, it is great. But. But will I have what she’s having? Who, you ask? The author on the bestseller’s list right now, that’s who. She has success, whatever that means. Acclaim. Respect. And great reviews. Bookstores are begging her to make an appearance. Her book also is on some important list. Ok, I’ll take a double. . .
No, I won’t. Here’s what I will hope for, though. I hope my novel connects with readers in a manner that makes them want more. That is my dream. An opportunity to have what my beloved successful author friends are having: the chance to publish another book. Will I have what she’s having in that respect? I hope so. I hope my book connects, sells and readers enjoy it. But what I’ve learned is that no matter what, it’s pretty much out of my hands and whatever happens won’t be the same story as the bestseller author, or as authors A, B or C’s.
My friend novelist Amy Hatvany’s amazing third book, BEST KEPT SECRET, comes out later this summer, and since she’s a seasoned pro, I asked her for some advice. Ok, I wasn’t that calm about it – it was one of those late-night, self-doubt-filled Facebook exchanges. Since it wasn’t my first meltdown to her, I knew she’d be there and she was. I had written a simple message to her on Facebook. Will people like HERE, HOME, HOPE? And she wrote back a simple point: “All you can do is make sure your book is the best it can be and then let it go.”
“Sure,” I’d written back, “Easy for you to say, you just returned from a fabulous trip to New York, meeting with your famous agent and your big publishing house marketing team. That’s what I want to be having, what you’re having.” Yes, it was me and my laptop having a pity party.
But the reality is, even if I’d been published by a big six publisher instead of a wonderful small press, I still wouldn’t be having what Amy is having. Her path is unique. Just as each of us come to the writing world with our own stories and our own voices, we each face the publishing process on our own. The path – these days especially – can take many different avenues and that’s exciting. Scary. And distinct.
We writers are a strange breed. We desperately hone our independent voices, but still seek acceptance and approval on a broader stage. We dream of various levels of success, but all of us require a reader, someone we don’t know, to pick up our book and agree to become immersed in the world we’ve created. And hopefully, that stranger likes it. Hopefully, loves it enough to share it with those they love. And that means THEY want what we’re serving.
I realize I’ll never have what she’s having, whether it’s what Amy is having or any other author I’ve met, admired or read. Each person’s experience is hers alone. What I have learned in the process is that I need to embrace what I am having. Enjoy it. Be still and try to remember I’ve done my best and this is my journey.
I hope you are enjoying yours.
Thanks so much for your post, Kaira. Readers, you can learn more about Kaira and her novel on her website, and follow her on Twitter and Facebook. Write on!
Many thanks to today’s guest.
You can read more WU guest posts by visiting this link.
Kaira, You’re not the first author to feel this way, and I doubt you’re the last. Thanks for sharing your story and encouraging those of us who still secretly long to be JK Rowling instead of ourselves.
I loved the line, “We desperately hone our independent voices, but still seek acceptance and approval on a broader stage.” That is so true. Even though I write what “I” like to read, hoping others will as well, underneath it all I want more than a couple of people to buy my books. I don’t think it’s realistic to aspire to be the next Stephen King or anyone like that, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I dream of success, as in “thousands of people rushing to buy my book and waiting breathlessly for the next”. Then again, if just a small group of people are touched by what I write, that would definitely touch my heart.
You know, someone is going to want what YOU’RE HAVING too! :)
Congrats on your release!
God, do I relate! My first novel is in the hands of my publisher after modifications they required. I am sitting on literary pins and needles. What to expect? What to desire? What to accept as ‘success’? Oye, the exquisite agony.
Sure, I’ve had friends and casual reviewers say they liked it. But, to have a publisher actually put their money behind it would be an undeniable giant leap forward. Is it too early to start the negotiation for that mansion? Perhaps I should start thinking about a security detail.
This provides a much-needed perspective!
Each of us has our own experience to live.:)
“We writers are a strange breed. We desperately hone our independent voices, but still seek acceptance and approval on a broader stage.”
“Each person’s experience is hers alone. What I have learned in the process is that I need to embrace what I am having. ”
So true, so true! This is a great reminder that we can’t live our lives glancing over at other people’s tables and wishing we’d ordered their entrees, or were going out with their boyfriends, or had bought their shoes. We are living our own lives and must find — or really, MAKE — our own fulfillment. Great message, and good luck with the book!
Ah, no good will ever come from wanting what other people have. This post rings true to that. I appreciate your honesty and I’m glad you found clarity. Take care and know that you’ll do just fine and so will your book.
Lovely cover, btw.
Thank you so much, Roseanne!
I’ll have what YOU’RE having! Sounds like you and Amy are great friends; it must be wonderful to have someone to talkl to through the tough, questioning times we all go through as writers. Thanks for a thoughtful and though-provoking post.
“I hope my novel connects with readers in a manner that makes them want more.”
Me too! Good stuff, Kaira. I think it’s one thing to use someone else’s success as motivation, but easy to cross the line into wishing to have exactly what they have. I’ll be content to have my own publishing story to tell, just as I have my own fiction stories to tell. :)
Congratulations, Kaira, on the publication of Here, Home, Hope. Wonderful post. You spoke absolute truth: there is no path for us but our own and others’ paths always seem brighter, less pebbly, and heading to way more successful places. I long wanted what Anna Quindlen was having and finally realized that her path is hers to follow and that, as Sara wrote above, someone probably wanted mine somewhere along the way. So, I’m content to have the writing life I have, but could I have it and write it in the Malibu house?
Thank you all for commenting on this post and for your encouraging words! It has been a little over a month since HERE, HOME, HOPE came out – and wow, what a whirlwind.
The next installment of this post will be: I’ll have what she’s having, on tour!
The absolute best part of the entire process has been support from other writers, like those of you here. Hands down amazing.
Thank you!